Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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