so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
