...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
