ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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