I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
