I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
