You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
