Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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