This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
