I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
