If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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