just tell him i said nine months
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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