Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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