I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
