i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
