what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
