you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
