I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
