Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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