u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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