i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
