if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
