ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
