hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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