PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
