Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
