Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
