i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
So squirting runs in the family.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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