So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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