Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
