i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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