I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
