That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You smell like a Billy Joel song
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
