Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
either way he was missing a nipple.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
