Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
