nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
