Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm always down for nudity.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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