i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
