Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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