Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Don't EVER smell your tampon
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
