WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
