Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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