I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
