everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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