You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
