Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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