Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
