Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
