I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
