...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize