I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Randomize
