how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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