Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
