Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
