You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
